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Pet Day/Transcript
This is an episode transcript for Pet Day. Transcript (Scene opens to Captain Mike, a carrot man, and a carrot woman approaching the school, just as the bell rings. Bob exits from the school.) Bob: Class dismissed! Please find your parents in an orderly- (The children rush out of the school past Bob, causing him to get spun around.) Bob: Fashion! (Captain Mike approaches Junior.) Captain Mike: Hey, son! Prepare for launch! Junior: High-five blastoff! (Junior and Captain Mike high-five each other.) Captain Mike: Interstellar! We give the best high-fives around! (The sound of wheels screeching is suddenly heard, before Mr. Pea pulls up in his monster truck.) Mr. Pea: Monster truck high-five, son! Tiny Pea: Hold on to your hubcaps! (Tiny Pea jumps directly into the air, towards the monster truck, before he and Mr. Pea give each other a high-five in the air, before Tiny Pea gets into the monster truck with Mr. Pea, just as the monster truck lands on the ground and swerves up in front of Junior and Captain Mike.) Mr. Pea: Howdy, asparaguses! Junior: Wow! The peas have a way cooler high-five! You need a monster truck, dad! Bob: Hold on, kids! I almost forgot. Friday is "Bring Your Pet To School Day". So you can bring your favorite animal to class with you! All: (cheering) Tiny Pea: Could Junior and I hunt for pets, dad? Junior: Yeah, we could look for bugs since we don't have pets. Captain Mike: That's a great idea, son. Mr. Pea: No way! My son's getting a real pet! He'll be king of Pet Day! Tiny Pea: Hoo! A guinea fig! Mr. Pea: No, no, no. Something unexpected. Tiny Pea: Can we get an unexpected guinea fig? Mr. Pea: No! Have a good day, asparaguses! We're off to shop for exotic pets! (Mr. Pea and Tiny Pea drive off. Scene switches to the Asparagus home, where Captain Mike is looking upset.) Captain Mike: How come no one thinks a trucker is cooler than an astronaut until he puts huge wheels on the truck then suddenly, he's better than a guy who spent ten years at space school? (Captain Mike is sitting on the front steps, while Junior is trying to catch a butterfly.) Junior: Are you comparing yourself to Mr. Pea again? (Junior tries to catch the butterfly in the jar he's holding, but it flies away, as he chases after it.) Captain Mike: I'm just being hypothetical. You know, Junior, a butterfly isn't much of a pet. (Junior turns around.) Captain Mike: What if we can get a cooler pet? Junior: How much cooler? Captain Mike: Something even cooler than whatever pet Mr. Pea gets for Tiny. Junior: (unsure) Okay. (The butterfly flies in front of Junior before he catches it.) Junior: Got it! Captain Mike: Come on, son! We're getting a real pet! My son will be the king of pet day! (Junior and Captain Mike hop off, while the butterfly that Junior caught flies out of the jar, as music plays.) Captain Mike: (singing) La la la, la-la la la La-la-la la la, la la la la I'm all set to pick a pet And the pet I get Will be the best pet yet As you'd expect We haven't met And I'm all set to pick a pet It may be large It may be small Have lots of hair Or none at all It may bark Or it may squeak It may have paws Or perhaps a beak I'm all set to pick a pet And the pet I get Will be the best pet yet As you'd expect We haven't met And I'm all set to pick a pet It may be wild It may be tame Don't care how big Or small its brain I will love it Just the same Gonna hug it and squeeze it And give it a name I'm all set to pick a pet It's gonna be The best pet yet La la la, la-la la la La-la-la la la, la la la la (The song ends as Captain Mike and Junior enter Pa Grape's store. Inside the store are several guinea figs as one runs on its exercise wheel, but falls off. Junior is excited while Captain Mike is unimpressed.) Captain Mike: We were hoping for something a little cooler than a couple of measly guinea figs. Junior: But this one's awesome! Pa: I could order something more exotic from a catalog. (Mr. Pea and Tiny Pea also enter the store.) Mr. Pea: We are here to buy an exotic pet. (Tiny Pea hops up to the guinea fig enclosure.) Tiny Pea: Hey! That one's cool! Captain Mike: On second thought, I'd like to get a Bamboon. Pa: The most exotic pet I can order you is a red-bellied Garbanzo Toad. (Captain Mike and Mr. Pea both put their money on the counter at the same time.) Both: I'll take it! Captain Mike: I was here first! I call dibs! Pa: You know, in 2nd Corinthians, we're taught that comparing ourselves to one another is not wise. (Mr. Pea jumps up to the checkout robot and throws his money into the cash drawer.) Mr. Pea: We got our Garbanzo Toad, son! Pa: It says they spray poison from their eyes, and, uh, two weeks shipping. Mr. Pea: (surprised) Two weeks?! Captain Mike: Ha! Pet Day will be long gone by then! Enjoy that poison toad. Mr. Pea: Toad or not, I'll get my son the best pet for Pet Day! Captain Mike: Not if I get a better one! Tiny Pea: I want the one who keeps hanging upside-down! Junior: This one is trying to jump into my arms through the cage! Aw, please! Can we get one, dad? Captain Mike and Mr. Pea: We aren't buying guinea figs! (Junior and Tiny Pea are surprised, while Captain Mike and Mr. Pea glare at each other.) Both: (growling) Mr. Pea: It's on, Asparagus! Captain Mike: Oh, it's been on, Mr. Pea, but now it's super-triple eight-billion on! (Scene switches to back at the Asparagus home, Lisa and Junior watching Captain Mike on the phone.) Captain Mike: I need a license to own a Swiss Chaardvark?! But I have a space license! (hangs up) Junior: How's the pet seeking going? Captain Mike: No luck, Junior. I can't find anything but guinea figs and hermit crab apples! Junior: Dad, I'm fine with that. Captain Mike: No! We can't give up yet! I just gotta think. Think, Mike, think! (Lisa and Junior are still worried about Captain Mike. Scene switches to the next day at school, where Junior and Tiny Pea come to school together.) Junior: If my dad doesn't stop trying to get me the greatest pet in the world, it's gonna drive me crazy! Tiny Pea: What's wrong with a guinea fig? Junior: I know, right? Just an awesome guinea figh without all the drama would be great! Tiny Pea: And a crocodile. Junior: Of course, always add a crocodile. (Captain Mike pulls up to the front of the school in his car.) Captain Mike: Hey, buddy, I'm taking you on a little campout to catch the Buffalorange! Junior: What?! Seriously?! Tiny Pea: Your dad's too cool! Captain Mike: Hop aboard the Best Pet Express! (Cut to a binocular shot of the outside of the House, before Captain Mike is shown to be looking through binoculars while hiding the bushes. Junior then peeks out from the top of the bushes.) Junior: Do you see anything, dad? Captain Mike: He's out there somewhere. You found him once, you'll do it again. What did you call him? Junior: His name is Robert. Didn't we agree he was better off out here? (Captain Mike abruptly comes out from the top of the bushes, surprising Junior into falling out of the bushes.) Captain Mike: We're bringing Robert to school! School is a great place. I can't wait to see the look on Mr. Pea's- (Cut to a binocular shot of Mr. Pea also looking through binoculars while Tiny Pea is standing to next to him.) Captain Mike: (surprised) How'd they get out here?! Mr. Pea: We've been spotted. Tiny Pea: What's up, Junior! (Captain Mike angrily comes out of the bushes.) Captain Mike: Why don't you go find your own pet, idea thief? Mr. Pea: This ain't your property, Asparagussy! (Captain Mike goes to confront Mr. Pea, but Junior stops when he sees Robert the Buffalorange on top of the rocks, before he goes to get Captain Mike's attention.) Junior: Dad! Dad! There he is! Captain Mike: I know! I know! I see his mustache and his beady little eyes just fine! Junior: Not Mr. Pea! Robert the Buffalorange! There he is! Robert! (Captain Mike follows after Junior after throwing away his binoculars.) Mr. Pea: Hey, that's our new pet! (Junior approaches Robert, who is happy to see Junior.) Junior: Hey, boy! (laughing) I missed you too! (Captain Mike catches up to Junior.) Junior: He might not want to leave. (A lasso suddenly lands on Robert's back.) Mr. Pea: Come with us! Our place is a Buffalorange's paradise! (Robert only throws Mr. Pea around while he still holding onto the lasso, until Mr. Pea bumps into Robert's side while holding the lasso, then lands on the ground again, just as Captain Mike comes up to him afterwards.) Captain Mike: I'll bet you don't have PBJHD. Mr. Pea: What is PBJHD? Captain Mike: (bringing out a PBJHD) My secret weapon. Peanut Butter Jelly Hot Dog! Come and get it! (Robert becomes excited when he hears that Captain Mike has a PBJHD for him that he flips Junior on his back, before Captain Mike also jumps onto Robert's back while holding the fishingpole with the PBJHD on it.) Captain Mike: (laughing) Better luck next time, Mr. Pea! (Robert jumps off with Junior and Captain Mike on his back, while Mr. Pea is still holding on to the lasso, just as he gets pulled along and falls into the lake. Mr. Pea comes up out of the lake just as Tiny Pea comes up to him. Mr. Pea spits out a guppy after that.) Tiny Pea: Sorry, dad. Looks like we won't be getting that Buffalorange, huh? Mr. Pea: Maybe we can do one better. (Mr. Pea and Tiny Pea look out at the lake, where there are some ripples in the lake. Scene switches to the next day at school. Inside, a flytrap snaps its jaws, before a corn boy appears after that.) Corn Boy: This is The Chomp. I named him The Chomp because he chomps everything. (The Chomp suddenly bites the corn boy's head.) Corn Boy: (screaming) Bob: Thanks, Buford. (drinks his coffee) Who's up next? (Captain Mike abruptly enters the room.) Captain Mike: Me! I mean, my son! (Junior shyly peeks into the classroom.) Junior: Hi, everybody. Um, uh, my pet is- Captain Mike: Class, prepare to feast your eyes upon the amazing, the spectacular, the colossal, Buffalorange! (Captain Mike then steps out of the way, while Laura and Callie are at first surprised then amazed, at the same time that Junior jumps into the classroom while holding out a PBJHD, before Robert enters the classroom and eats the PBJHD.) All: Wow! Laura: Can I pet him? Broccoli Boy: Me first! Captain Mike: Now, now, kids. One at a time. Bob: Wow! That is quite a pet! Mr. Pea: Hold up! (hops up to the teacher's desk) It ain't over yet! Ya think that orange cow is cool? Hold on to your hubcap, kids! My son's pet blows that one out of the water! (A thumping sound is heard from outside.) Junior: It's something big. (A giant lobster suddenly sticks its claw into the window right in front of Bob, then snatches Bob's coffee.) Bob: Hey, my coffee! (Bob tries to take his coffee back from the giant lobster, before Tiny Pea comes up to the front of the class.) Tiny Pea: This is my pet; Lobstersaurus Rex! We call him Lobby for short! Mr. Pea: He's better than all your pets! Bob: Ah! Claws off my mug, ya mug! (Bob takes the mug back from the giant lobster, before the giant lobster suddenly grabs him up.) Bob: Ah! Okay! Take the mug! Take the mug! (The giant lobster snatches Bob away, leaving the mug behind.) All: (screaming) (Robert becomes afraid as he starts running around.) Captain Mike: Whoa, boy! Steady now! Junior: He's spooked! He wants out of here! (Robert still runs around in a panic.) Junior: Robert, come back! (Outside, the giant lobster still waves Bob around, while Robert is still afraid, just as Captain Mike, Junior, Mr. Pea, and Tiny Pea come up to the scene.) Captain Mike: What were you thinking bringing a monstrous lobster to a school?! Mr. Pea: I was thinking that's way cooler than a Buffalorange! Junior: Robert! Calm down, boy! (The lobster roars before it squeezes Bob a few times with its claw.) Bob: Extra credit if you save me from this claw of doom unscathed! Junior: We gotta save Mr. Bob! (Robert becomes more brave as Junior and Tiny Pea climb onto his back, before jumping away, which Captain Mike and Mr. Pea notice.) Mr. Pea: We took this too far, Asparagus. We tried to one-up each other and now our kids' teacher has been abducted by a giant lobster! Captain Mike: You're right. Get your monster truck, Mr. Pea! We started this, we can stop it! (Scene switches to the giant lobster rampaging through town while still carrying Bob, while the townspeople run screaming. Pan up to Junior, Tiny Pea, and Robert on top of a nearby building.) Junior: How are we gonna stop this thing? Mr. Pea: This looks like a job for a monster truck driver and an astronaut! (The monster truck then drives off through town while chasing after the giant lobster while it is still carrying Bob. The giant lobster's claw then runs into a wall, as it releases its grip on Bob and sends him flying until he lands next to Madame Blueberry, who is watering a potted plant. The giant lobster still rampages through town while Mr. Pea and Captain Mike drive after it, before Captain Mike jumps onto the front of the monster truck while twirling a lasso then tossing it as it lands onto the giant lobster's claw.) Mr. Pea: Let's get this oversized pet back where it belongs! (The monster truck then drives away while towing the giant lobster with it, then pulls up in front of the lake, which sends the giant lobster plunging back into the lake once again.) Mr. Pea: Go back in your lobster cave, you giant crustacean! (The monster truck drives off after that, while Junior and Tiny Pea have brought Robert back outside.) Tiny Pea: Come on, Junior. It's best to let Robert the Buffalorange go back into the wild. (Junior and Tiny Pea then give Robert a hug, before he jumps away again.) Junior: Goodbye, Robert! Captain Mike: I owe you an apology, Mr. Pea. Pa Grape was right about us. Mr. Pea: We compared ourselves to each other, and we were unwise. I owe you an even bigger apology. Captain Mike: Oh no, I apologize super-triple eight billion! Mr. Pea: I apologize that times infinite one hundred! Both: (laughing) Captain Mike: But what do you say we take these boys back to the pet section at Pa Grape's? Mr. Pea: I like how you think, Asparagus! (Scene switches to back at Pa Grape's store, where Junior and Tiny Pea have now gotten their own guinea figs.) Both: My own guinea fig?! Thanks, dad! Junior: It's great! Captain Mike: Well, I don't know who got the best pet, but we've got the best sons any dad could ask for. Mr. Pea: Looks like we both win. Tiny Pea: Mine's so cool, I'm gonna name him, "Awesome Possum Hip-Hop Happiness Joy Slam Dunk Crazy Amazing! Junior: I'll name mine Roy. (Junior leaves with Roy, leaving Tiny Pea confused as the screen irises out on him, ending the episode.)Category:Transcripts Category:VeggieTales in the House transcripts Category:Finished Transcripts